Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
