Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
