I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
