I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
