They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
