Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just want nice things and good sex
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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