My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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