i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
