I just made out with a guy for $7.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
