i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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