Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
