i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
