You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
