i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
