How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
