I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
