i already hear my dad disowning me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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