We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize