She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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