Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
