I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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