I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
