we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
