Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
