im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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