i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
