I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize