You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize