Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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