I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
