The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
