Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
