I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
