You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
