If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
