So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
