She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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