Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I CAN MOONWALK!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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