This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
