...so i touched it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
