you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
