When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
