I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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