wakey wakey hands off snakey
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
