eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
