He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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