i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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