Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
