any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
