i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
