she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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