You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
