Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
