so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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