OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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