Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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