I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
