I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
