Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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