I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
