Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
