Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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