Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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