maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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